When a close friend or member of the family is in hospice care in Virginia Beach or anywhere else, you’ll want to reach out to show your support. And if you live too far away to visit in person – or if your loved one doesn’t want anyone to stop by – expressing how you feel in writing is a good idea. But what should you say?
Finding the right words for someone who is facing the end of life can be quite difficult. Most people would struggle to pen a thoughtful, heartfelt message, but as team of hospice care workers, we have direct experience in this realm. And, we’re happy to share what we’ve learned over the years. If you’re unsure of what to write to a loved one in hospice care, take inspiration from the following.
Love
Telling someone how much you care isn’t easy in writing, but words of love mean a lot at the end of life. Don’t assume that a loved one in hospice care knows how you feel – spell it out clearly, speaking from the heart. For instance, you might say:
- I just want you to know that I love you very much, and I wouldn’t trade a minute of the time we’ve spent together.
- There’s so much I’d like to say, and words seem so inadequate, but I hope you feel surrounded by love.
- Hoping that today is one of the good days, and sending you love and strength for the days and weeks ahead.
Affirmation
When someone decides to enter hospice care, they’ve accepted the fact that have reached the final chapter of life – and they want their friends and family to accept this as well. To that end, consider incorporating one of the following into your message:
- I know this decision wasn’t an easy one, and I support your choice to focus on comfort care over aggressive treatment.
- Thinking of you not being here makes me sad, but I’m glad that you won’t be suffering or in pain any longer.
- You put up a good fight, and that has been inspiring, but it’s all right to let go and live out your remaining time on your own terms.
Gratitude
Expressing thankfulness of your friend or family member and their influence on your life makes for a warm and thoughtful message. Whether the individual in hospice care is someone you love or a more distant connection, show your appreciation by saying:
- I’ve been so lucky to have you in my life, and I truly am thankful for all of the love and memories we’ve shared.
- Thanks for being you – you’re such a caring, genuine, funny and unique individual, and I’ll miss our time together.
- I’m a better person because of you, and I want you to know that you’ve been the best mom (or dad, sister, friend, whichever applies).
Validation
Everyone wants to know that their life mattered, and telling a loved one in hospice care that their influence will live on can help them feel at peace as the end draws near. As you write your message, give credit to their accomplishments:
- You’ve done so many incredible things in life – for the community, in your career and to help all of us – and you should be proud.
- A friend (or parent, sibling, etc.) doesn’t come around very often, and I hope you know that I’ll always hold you close to my heart.
- We’re going to miss you like crazy, but we’ll make sure that all of your amusing stories and fun traditions live on beyond you.
Comfort
People in hospice care often worry about how their families will manage without them. So while it may feel as if nothing will ever be good again, your loved one needs to hear that everyone will be taken care of when they’re gone. You can express this by saying:
- We’ll all miss how you’ve cared for us, of course, and we can’t replace that, but we’ll find ways to care for each other.
- I hope it will ease your mind to know that I’ll honor your wishes in how I raise the kids, and I’ll try to do the same things you would do at every step.
- Please don’t worry about me or anyone else – it’ll take time, but we’ll be all right. At this point, we just want you to feel the love.
What to Write to a Loved One in Hospice Care
Your message may be heartfelt, and you might have the best intentions, but you still need to be mindful of what you say to someone in hospice care. If you’re having trouble finding the right words for your loved one, we suggest speaking with a member of their hospice care team. With experience comes knowledge, and anyone who works with the terminally ill should be able to steer you in the right direction.
At Suncrest Hospice of Virginia Beach, we’re always ready to offer advice and guidance to those in need. If you’re looking to give your loved one peace and comfort, we’d love to help. For information on our hospice care services, contact us today.
