Littlest Things: My Work in Hospice
Nothing beats that glowing smile on a hospice patient’s face when you walk in and know they are happy to see you. Being a certified nursing assistant is very hard, but those happy smiles really do make it worthwhile. I’ll relate the stories of three amazing people whom I’ve met during my work in hospice. Although there are countless stories I could tell, these three have had a great impact on my life and career.
After about six months of working for Suncrest Hospice, I met Marian. She was this incredible Italian lady who was alert and independent. She had been through much in life and I learned so much from her. She was like a second mother to me. I had never before seen anyone who was over ninety years old and just wanted to stay at home in their robe all day long, listening to music, and watching movies. I want to be just like her when I get old. Sometimes my work phone would ring during our visits and she would just bust out dancing and start shaking her hips. Then I would start dancing and we would just have a dance party in the bathroom! It was the best thing ever. She absolutely loved chocolate. She had friends and family members who sent her boxes of chocolates and she went through them really fast. When I started to learn how to bake, I made her some brownies, which, to my surprise, she had never heard about before. She loved them and started telling everybody how great my brownies were. I didn’t think they were that special, but I was glad I made her day. Marian taught me to enjoy life no matter what. We all have bad days and life will keep throwing problems at us, but that doesn’t mean we can’t enjoy every second of it.
“their love story is something I will treasure for the rest of my life”
“there are times when he’s smiling, laughing… which makes all my hard work pay off”
Not too long ago, I met Betsy. She spoke very little but somehow managed to be extremely sweet and funny without saying a thing. She would nod or shake her head when I asked her questions and giggle when I made my lame jokes. It was always funny how she had that big frown on her face whenever she saw Donald Trump on TV. Her husband absolutely adored her and took very good care of her. I did not get to know much about them, but their love story is something I will treasure for the rest of my life. Betsy passed on a Monday and John, her husband, who looked very healthy physically, passed away just four days after. I did not hear about this until my Case Manager told me about it the week after. My heart was broken into pieces. I walked out of the facility trying to hold back my tears but began to cry when I got into my car. This was the very first time I cried over a patient. I could only imagine how heartbroken John was when Betsy passed, and for him to follow her a few days after, all I could think was – that’s true love. This was what I’ve dreamt about since I was a little girl. I grew up watching Disney movies and romantic comedies and I always wondered what it would be like to find your person. John and Betsy gave me the hope that it’s real. With everything that’s going on in the world, it was nice to see that it is possible to find that one person who you can love and who will love you for the rest or your lives.
Another observation that never fails to amuse me is how it seems that whatever lessons I am wading through in my personal life always seem to become a theme in my career as well. One day as we drove to school, my daughter informed me that she didn’t want to go to school that day. As tears started to roll down her face, she explained that she had been having some difficulties on the playground. “No one would play with me yesterday. No one wants to be my friend,” she said. As I began to go through the whole process of what a parent says to comfort and reassure their child, internally, my heart broke for her. Surely I knew what it was like to feel excluded or unwanted at some point in life. Watching your own child experience this is another feeling entirely, however.
And last, but not least, is Jack. Jack lived in a memory care facility. He was not alert and felt threatened when touched. Everybody was scared of him. They saw him as a violent and aggressive patient who was very hard to take care of. I was so scared when I first saw him. There I was, this tiny girl, barely 5 feet tall, assigned to a man at least twice my size. In my head I thought, “I am going to get punched in the face”. Surprisingly, Jack was not scary at all. I came in, said hi, explained what I was going to do and he cooperated. Everybody misunderstood him. Jack taught me how to be patient. Although memory care patients are harder to take care of, we have to talk to them, make them feel comfortable, and let them know that we there to help. As of today, I still take care of Jack. Although he has his bad days, there are times when he spends a few seconds smiling, laughing, or even singing which makes all my hard work pay off. It’s not easy to be a certified nursing assistant in hospice, but those little things sure do make it all worth it.
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