Someone you hold dear meets the criteria for hospice care, but they’re against the idea. Sound familiar?
At Suncrest Hospice of Cincinnati, we know how difficult it can be when a loved one doesn’t acknowledge the need for assistance. However, this scenario is a common one. Medical professionals and family members agree that hospice support would be the best option, but the patient is completely opposed.
For some, the reason for refusing hospice care is a determination to continue fighting the terminal illness. Others value their privacy and independence too much to accept extra help. And sometimes, people balk at entering hospice because they’re in denial about the inevitability of death. In any case, every competent adult has the right to make their own decisions regarding their care.
That said, people also have the right to change their minds. If your loved one is objecting to hospice care, here’s what we suggest.
Listen with Respect
Sit down with your loved one and calmly listen to what they have to say about hospice. Ask why they’re rejecting the option, but don’t argue with their reasoning – while you may not be in agreement, everyone deserves the chance to explain their views.
Offer Validation
Demonstrate that you understand your loved one’s hesitance to enter hospice and let them know they have the freedom to decide what happens next. Instead of pushing for acceptance of your viewpoint, focus on putting their mind at ease.
Share the Facts
Once you know why your loved one is saying no to hospice care, you can address their concerns. Provide factual information, mentioning details about the many services available and how hospice works – but be sure to take a gentle and gradual approach.
Recruit Others
Instead of hearing about the benefits of hospice care from you, might your loved one be more receptive to advice from another person? Whoever that is, whether it’s their best friend, a clergy member or someone else, ask them to be part of the conversation.
Change Course
If the reason your loved one is disinclined to accept hospice care is because they want to continue curative treatments, palliative care may be the right choice for now. Later on, if their illness progresses, they can make the transition to hospice care.
Connect with an Expert
A hospice professional can offer more insight on what your loved one has to gain by entering hospice care. Ask if you can arrange a meeting, stressing that they don’t have to begin the admission process – you’d simply like to get more information.
Tips on Initiating the Conversation
When a loved one refuses hospice care the first time it’s mentioned, figuring out a way to bring up the topic again can be challenging. To make things a little easier, consider these pointers from the professional team at Suncrest Hospice of Cincinnati:
- Only open the discussion when you’re at a location that’s private, comfortable and free of distractions.
- Consider how your loved one is feeling – if they’re tired, irritated or distressed, it’s not the right time for the conversation.
- Get other family members there to discuss the matter or have a one-on-one chat, whichever approach your loved one would prefer.
If you’re nervous about raising the subject of hospice care, take comfort in knowing that it’s probably already on their mind. Your loved one may be well-aware that their health is in decline and that the end is near, and you reopening the possibility of arranging for hospice support may come as a relief. At the same time, you’ll want to choose your words carefully. Listen for cues, like a mention of worsening symptoms or talk of a recent hospitalization, then consider starting with one of these lines:
- I have a few questions about your wishes for the future.
- Can you and I chat about the pros and cons of hospice care?
- I’m worried that you’re not getting the level of support you need.
- Given where things stand with your health, what matters most to you now?
- I’d like to talk about your overall goals in terms of ongoing care.
- If your condition changes, how would you want to handle the situation?
People often experience profound emotions when discussing hospice care and planning for the end of life. Be ready to respond in a sympathetic manner, and you may be able to keep the conversation on track. For instance, if your loved one gets emotional, you might say:
- I can see that you’re getting a little annoyed.
- It seems like this chat is making you sad.
- Can you tell me how you’re feeling right now?
- I’m here to listen, and I really want to know how I can help.
Contact Suncrest Hospice of Cincinnati Today
Your loved one may refuse hospice care when first asked about the option, but there’s a strong chance they’ll eventually agree – and with the Suncrest team of skilled professionals providing support, they’re sure to feel good about their decision.
For more information, or to arrange for a hospice care consultation at your loved one’s home, contact our office in Cincinnati, Ohio, anytime.
